Comments on: To challenge and be challenged in conversation http://www.chrishardie.com/blog/2008/01/to-challenge-and-be-challenged-in-conversation.html Personal Blog for James Christopher Hardie Thu, 02 Sep 2010 18:56:15 -0400 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9 hourly 1 By: Carrie http://www.chrishardie.com/blog/2008/01/to-challenge-and-be-challenged-in-conversation.html/comment-page-1#comment-87520 Carrie Wed, 29 Apr 2009 16:02:10 +0000 http://www.chrishardie.com/weblog/archives/2008/01/to-challenge-and-be-challenged-in-conversation.html#comment-87520 I happened to stumble across this post when googling "challenge someone's views" and really enjoyed it. I hadn't been aware of any research on the topic but had only experienced how unfavorably most people responded to what I only meant to be a more nuanced exchange of ideas, because I also enjoy learning from others and redefining my perspective based on a broader range of information, wherever it comes from. Many people who proclaim the universal truth of their own experience have accused me of stubbornness for being unwilling to accept the perspective borne of their experiences as being universally true for everyone. I was wondering what others might have to say about this issue. Thanks for your insightful post. It's good to know there are others who enjoy being challenged as well. I happened to stumble across this post when googling "challenge someone's views" and really enjoyed it. I hadn't been aware of any research on the topic but had only experienced how unfavorably most people responded to what I only meant to be a more nuanced exchange of ideas, because I also enjoy learning from others and redefining my perspective based on a broader range of information, wherever it comes from. Many people who proclaim the universal truth of their own experience have accused me of stubbornness for being unwilling to accept the perspective borne of their experiences as being universally true for everyone. I was wondering what others might have to say about this issue. Thanks for your insightful post. It's good to know there are others who enjoy being challenged as well.

]]> By: Keith Gardner http://www.chrishardie.com/blog/2008/01/to-challenge-and-be-challenged-in-conversation.html/comment-page-1#comment-72738 Keith Gardner Sat, 02 Feb 2008 23:26:59 +0000 http://www.chrishardie.com/weblog/archives/2008/01/to-challenge-and-be-challenged-in-conversation.html#comment-72738 I like your perspective on a lot of this stuff, Chris. But I do disagree with you regarding interruptions. It's funny that you say that if you're interrupting, you feel like you're exchanging monologues. I see it as entirely the other way around. Since I first encountered you today via links regarding telephony, I know that you've experienced speakerphone conference calls with half-duplex service. In that environment, you *can't* interrupt the person on the other end in many cases, unless you can somehow manage to out-shout them. It becomes unbearable. There needs to be natural give and take in a genuine conversation, an ebb and flow, in order to really be communicating effectively. I find nothing more frustrating than someone soapboxing so that any time you try to slip a word in edgewise, they accuse you of interrupting them. It's not the way to come to an understanding. Of course if by interrupting you are referring to not only breaking in but taking over, then yes, I am with you there. It is utterly frustrating not to be able - eventually - to get out what you are trying to say. But to have to be patient while someone interjects comments or clarifications along the path, I don't have a problem with that. I like your perspective on a lot of this stuff, Chris. But I do disagree with you regarding interruptions. It's funny that you say that if you're interrupting, you feel like you're exchanging monologues. I see it as entirely the other way around.

Since I first encountered you today via links regarding telephony, I know that you've experienced speakerphone conference calls with half-duplex service. In that environment, you *can't* interrupt the person on the other end in many cases, unless you can somehow manage to out-shout them. It becomes unbearable. There needs to be natural give and take in a genuine conversation, an ebb and flow, in order to really be communicating effectively. I find nothing more frustrating than someone soapboxing so that any time you try to slip a word in edgewise, they accuse you of interrupting them. It's not the way to come to an understanding.

Of course if by interrupting you are referring to not only breaking in but taking over, then yes, I am with you there. It is utterly frustrating not to be able - eventually - to get out what you are trying to say. But to have to be patient while someone interjects comments or clarifications along the path, I don't have a problem with that.

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