Chris Hardie » tweets

12 kinds of social networking status updates

Chris — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 18:14:33 +0000

If you’re new to Facebook, Twitter or some of the other social networking spaces out there, you’re probably asking yourself, “what should I expect to see when it comes to the status updates that people post in these places?” Or if you’re a social networking veteran, you might still be thinking, “what’s my niche online? How do I decide what to post?”

Well, you’re in luck! I really enjoy cataloging and categorizing these kinds of things, and so I’ve put together this list of 12 kinds of social networking status updates.

Most every status update will fall into one of these categories:

I want you to know how happy I am. I have really amazing family, friends, career, hobbies, food, or some other factors that I will go on about publicly to hundreds of strangers, and I just want you to know how perfect everything is in the world right now.
I am incredibly busy and productive. But, I’m taking some time out of my incredibly busy schedule to tell you how incredibly busy and productive I am. But as soon as I’m done with that, it’s back to being incredibly busy and productive!
I am kind of a big deal. Here’s some information about me that’s only thinly veiled as informational, but is actually designed to show you how important, successful, athletic, skilled, wealthy, well-connected and/or influential I am.
I want you to know how unhappy I am. You won’t believe how pathetic and unworthy I am, but I’d like to try to tell you about it anyway.
I am really clever and insightful. Let me just say this really clever or witty thing and let you bask in how amazing I am.
I would like to tell you about my physical location. Here is where I am right now.
I’d like to share about the activities of my child or children. Let me show you how cute and/or irreverent they are. If you don’t have children, consider taking this opportunity to feel inadequate. If you do have children, consider taking this opportunity to feel like you don’t enjoy your children as much as I do.
There is an injustice that needs your attention! Some person, organization or company has done something unacceptable and I need you to take action RIGHT NOW to help make it better.
I have a link that I’d like for you to click on. It’s really interesting, and it’s possibly going to change your life. Come on, just click on it. What if it’s a really cool photo of a cat in some situation you’ve NEVER seen before? There, wasn’t that amazing?
I have a medical condition that I’d like to share about. I’m sick, or I’m getting better, or I’m having surgery, or I broke something, or someone or something threw up on me or I threw up on them. Let me tell you about it.
I would like to comment on some aspect of popular culture. Allow me tell you why a particular television show, movie, celebrity, singer, actor or athlete is in or out of my favor right now.
I am mysterious. I would just like to post this string of characters that may or may not resemble words in your language, hoping to increase your confusion while also instilling some sense that I know something you don’t. 598234.

Do you have other categories to add? What kinds of status updates do you tend to post?

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2008-10-31

Chris — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 19:00:59 +0000

“I thought that I heard you laughing, I thought that I heard you sing, I think I thought I saw you try, but that was just a dream.” #
Important lesson from the movie Atonement: always encrypt sensitive communications, especially love letters delivered by young children. #
Oh no, the U.S. military has realized that the Internet is a communications tool for vegetarians: http://tinyurl.com/5jmxcj #
@DougMasson Great! They had a verifiable paper trail in place this year, right? in reply to DougMasson #
I’m considering going rogue, everybody’s doing it. #
Three movies I suggest you avoid: “Noise” (too weird) “Queensized” (too cheesy) and “Silver City” (what the heck WAS that?) #
Hi, I’m ____ and I’ll be your dedicated Dell sales rep until I’m replaced right after you place an order and my email address stops working. #
Congratulations on convincing yourself that today’s stock market gains mean that everything is going to be okay. #
@jlharter Yes, who are those folks and what brought them here? And wait, who are you? in reply to jlharter #
@hodgman If you have to ask, maybe you already know the answer? Unless you’re being melodramatic for effect, in which case, carry on sir. in reply to hodgman #
If dogs take over the world, and chose a king, I hope they don’t just go by size, b/c I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas. #
Today I pressed some areas on a screen and a machine told me I voted. I asked it to give me a paper trail, and it was silent. Machine wins. #

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2008-10-24

Chris — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 03:59:59 +0000

If I survived that high ropes course today, surely I can wean these kittens off of their bottles. #
What a lovely day, full of those moments C.S. Lewis described: “What! You, too? Thought I was the only one.” #
Whether they ever find life there or not, I think Jupiter should be considered an enemy planet. #
New blog post, “On practicing what you preach” #
Why do the caterpillar and the ant have to be enemies? One eats leaves, and the other eats caterpillars. Oh, I see now. #
NO CARRIER #
New blog post: Failed Attempts at Being You #
Maybe some day, the Drupal project will get its security vulnerability announcements down to less than what seems like 1 per hour. #
Ending a long and interesting day, looking forward to doing it again tomorrow. You? #
Getting on the road to speak to some great folks in Cincinnati. #